Stop Doing This Because It’s Not Helpful (and You Look Silly)
There is a growing phenomenon of people pretending to know things they don’t actually know. Not only is this NOT helpful, it can undermine progress, demoralize teams and weaken organizations. If you recognize yourself in any of these actions, you will increase your effectiveness when you stop doing them. And hold others accountable too.
No one knows everything and in a new situation, there is a learning curve to develop mastery. That’s okay. There’s a long standing success principle that is summarized by the phrase ‘fake it ‘til you make it.’ Most of us understand that this means you can step into a situation, job or career that may be beyond your current skill set or knowledge base and by using your transferable skills, common sense and professionalism, you can function successfully while you learn what you need to know to master the role.
Stepping into a position that’s a size too big is a great strategy for developing in your career and life. The key is to be both confident in what you DO know and seek (and acknowledge) support to learn or provide for what you DON’T know. It’s the person who won’t admit they don’t know who can create challenges for those around them.
If you want to increase your credibility, stop doing these things.
1. Pretend you know and call on someone else to explain
This is the person who says, “Oh yes, I know all about that. Joe why don’t you explain it to the group.” It’s the equivalent of the grade school taunt, ‘I know but I’m not going to tell you.’
If you have the solution, say so. If you don’t, say so and ask someone else to provide that information. No one can know everything and if it’s something you should have known, then be sure you do next time.
2. Make something up
Somewhere along the way, ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ became ‘make it up’ which is not the same thing. Not at all. Here’s an example. True story. I was in a well-known tech store shopping for an upgrade on my voice-recording device. Two different models boasted identical features on the box so I asked a sales person if she knew the difference between the two. She said “Absolutely!” took the box from me and proceeded to read the description on the box out loud. Then she looked at me with confidence and said, “So this one has more power than the other one.”
Me: But both boxes say the same thing. Have you used these?
Her: No, but this one is stronger.
Me: How do you know?
Her: Because that’s what the box says.
It is perfectly acceptable to say, “I don’t know but let me find out.” Or “I don’t know and let me get someone who can help you.” This approach makes you seem extremely helpful and actually IS helpful.
3. Repeat what someone else just said (a.k.a. Bropropriation)
While this rising trend has sometimes been labeled “BROpropriation,” I have experienced this with both men and women. Here’s the scene.
Chris: We could have a picnic.
Jamie: Hey, I’ve got a great idea. We should have a picnic!
The Boss: That’s a great idea Jamie, thanks so much!! Let’s do it!
Maybe Chris and Jamie had the same idea simultaneously. More likely, Jamie heard what Chris said and thought it was an original idea. Either way, this is frustrating and demeaning to Chris and it sends a message to the group that Jamie’s input is more valued than Chris’s. The discussion leader should be attuned to all contributors and can acknowledge both speakers. Whether it happens to you or you witness it, let’s hold people accountable. Politely interrupt and acknowledge the original contributor.
4. Take credit for someone else’s work
It’s generally understood when the leader of an organization (or a country) says “We accomplished this big thing” that the leader was part of the solution but may or likely did not physically do all the parts of the accomplishment. Similarly, when a manager says, “We finished the project,” he or she is communicating the group’s accomplishment. By contrast, if that same manager says, “I finished the project” when the work was actually done by the group, resentment can occur among group members.
I had a colleague who did this regularly. In one instance, he said, “I had to fly into that office and get everyone straightened out.” In reality, a whole team of subject matter experts had spent a week in that office to re-train the staff and this colleague arrived for a day to work alongside one employee. The team had remedied the issue but this colleague loudly and effusively not only claimed credit, was also given credit for the fix by executive staff. Let’s give credit where credit is earned.
If you see someone ELSE doing these things, kindly and professionally point out how not-helpful that behavior is. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know, let me find out.” When you’re in a group, really listen to make sure you’re not just repeating what someone else has already said. Acknowledge the people who actually did the work. If you helped, just say that. We can all make the work world a better place. Say what is, with kindness. Ask for help when you need it.
Cheers!
Steph
