5 steps to STOP LOOKING for your purpose and LIVE IT instead
Most of us want lives of real value. We want to ‘make a difference’, an ‘impact’ and ‘do something that matters.’ I have the wonderful opportunity to talk with people of all walks of life, all types of jobs and all over the world. One of the things I hear most often is, “I’d like to do something I’m really passionate about” or “I want to do something that matters.”
You're not alone if you feel this way! It’s the call of our hearts to know that who we are and what we’re doing is making a positive contribution to the world around us. It could be that your current job or activities aren’t registering on your ‘fulfillment meter.’ Maybe you’re feeling restless or your days just don’t feel joyful. Here are five recommendations that may change the way you feel—or even change your life. These are simple ideas but not easy. If you really want to live your best life, be brave and read to the end. Try these for 30 days and see if you feel closer to a more valuable life.
1. First, limit your phone time. I know this is challenging. But, if you want to get serious about living your best life, you may be wasting precious time staring into your phone and consulting the wizards of social media. Unless your passion is to be a social media influencer, your time can be invested much more wisely in building new relationships and taking action in your area of interest. Be present in real life.
2. Offer to help someone who does what you want to do. You don’t have to get paid for it or even recognized for it. In fact it may be a better learning opportunity when you don’t! When you take action you will gain experience and meet people who are connected to that thing. This is simple. Walk up to that person and say these words, “How can I help you?” These are magic words. They will open doors, forge relationships and lead you on paths you didn’t foresee. Trust me on this.
3. Be willing to make mistakes. It's difficult to learn something new or get better at doing something if you’re not willing to start at the beginning and stay the course. Simon Sinek has a wonderful analogy about making an impact. It’s as if you’re standing at the foot of a mountain and the top is something called ‘impact.’ You want to make it but you don’t want to take the climb to get there. Living a life that brings fulfillment, joy and has a positive effect on others is NOT a destination. It is a journey filled with ups and downs, soaring triumphs and humbling mistakes. That is a good thing. It’s the journey that teaches us the real value of life and it is on that journey that we ultimately meet the very people who connect us to the opportunities!
4. Build a team. Or a tribe or a network – whatever you want to call it. Even if you want to, you can’t live a life of value in a vacuum. Even monks who choose a life of silence typically do so in community with others. We are wired for human interaction and whether your heartbeat is a few good friends or a wild group, life is better with others. There is no shortcut to this step. Take time to be interested in people around you. Understand their strengths, their interests and what they care about. Invest time and heart in their pursuits and some of them will do the same for you and your pursuits. I think the best circle of friends, the most effective team, the most dynamic company is the one that is diverse, colorful and passionate about their own stuff and that of others. Invite your circle of people to do things together and you will grow a group who will be willing to take adventures with you, start a company with you or change the world together.
5. Finally, change your mind. What we think has incredible influence over how we feel and act. When our thoughts are focused on everything that’s NOT right in life, nothing will be. And, when we shift our focus to what IS going well and seek opportunities to learn and grow… then we do.
Here’s what I mean. Whatever your circumstances, take inventory of the things you’re thankful for and those you want to change. This may seem overly simple- even juvenile, but taking this action holds incredible power. Make a list of what’s good in your life and resolve to be grateful for those things every day. Posting this list on your bathroom mirror is a wonderful reminder. Next, make a list of the things about your life that you’d like to change. Beside each item, decide on one action that can help you make a change in that thing.
If your job is on the ‘change’ list, proceed thoughtfully. Your first action at work should be looking for a way to incorporate the things that DO bring you joy into your current position. See #2 for more on this thought. It could be that volunteering in your free time would make your day job feel more valuable and it could make YOU more valuable to your company too. And ultimately if you want to seek other work, consider starting with a ‘side-hustle’ to see if alternatives hold the kind of fulfillment you’re looking for.
You have the power to choose your perspective and even position in life. You can choose to live a valuable life by virtue of how you choose to think, act and invest your time. The reality is, you already do. You DO make a difference and WHO you are matters to the people you interact with each day. Sometimes, changing your life is as simple as changing your perspective on life. So stop looking for it and start living it. Nike says it best – just do it.
